Your heart skips a beat whenever you see him.
You’re both excited to embrace him as part of your life, yet a bit anxious if he’s the one for you.
What if… he’s the one and we’re destined to be together?
What if he’s not and this is nothing but a Disney fantasy?
As women, we crave for a connection and intimacy with the special someone who will always belong to us.
The process of finding your soul mate might be complicated because let’s face it, there are more than 8 billion people in the world and the idea of choosing one to settle down for a lifetime might appear as if it’s unimaginable.
When you have a conflict between the calling of your heart and reasoning of your mind, it is your gut feeling that will come to the rescue and lead you to the right path.
So how do you go about trusting your gut feeling and find out if he is truly the one for you? Well, even though there is no surefire way to predict the future or turn of relationships, these five ways may indicate that you have already found the one.
1. Everything feels natural in your intuition
One of the telltale signs of him being the one is that you feel it in your intuition. Some people also call this a gut feeling.
When you trust your intuition, everything feels right. Things are not ‘forced’.
You know you’re forcing something if something doesn’t sit right in your heart and your stomach.
Some say that love is blind, but sometimes it could be going against your intuition and you might even find ways to explain to yourself or justify why it should work out.
On interviewing numerous couples that have been married for a time between 20 to 50 years, it was concluded that they shared one thing in common – everything felt relaxed in their relationship.
As absurd as it may sound, there are people in the world that didn’t go through multiple relationships, bitter fights, or had to overcome the instances of infidelity to make it through.
Some relationships happened because two people met and it felt natural. Even if they had challenges, they always had a way of working it out.
In the right kind of relationship, one realizes that it may take the effort to keep the spark alive but doesn’t take teeth-grinding work and excruciating sorrow.
2. No compromising on your personal core values
Everyone has their own core value of how they should live.
You have your own needs physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
If you feel that you have to constantly compromise your core values to make things work, then you should consider if he’s the one.
Compatibility is perhaps the most important aspect of a long-term relationship because love alone doesn’t make the bond last.
To understand if you are compatible with him, start by discovering if both of your core values align with each other.
Even simple questions like, “Do you both want to have kids in the future? What does the ideal date mean to you? How frequently do you want to have sex?” are telltale signs of a person.
Don’t say, “He’ll change later.” Core values stick around most of a person’s life so it’s unlikely if he’s going to change.
If you don’t have the answers to these questions yourself, then determining if he is truly the one for you might be difficult.
If you both agree on the major things, then the little things just tend to fall by the wayside.
3. Your family and close friends like him
Often when we are in a relationship with someone, seeing things in an objective way might be hard because you’re ‘in’ the relationship and not looking from the outside in.
Assuming you have a close and aligned relationship with your friends and family and you value their opinion, they could help you with your judgements.
(Unless they have fanatical or illogical reasons why they don’t want you to be together with him, that’s a whole different story.)
If there are people who truly know us apart from ourselves, then it’s our closest friends and family members. In fact, studies suggest that the person we are closest to actually know most about us than we know about ourselves.
So, to judge if he is truly the one for you, try and observe how your significant other gets along with other people you’re close with.
If he doesn’t respect and get along with your loved ones, don’t be surprised what will happen to you when you have a falling out with him.
While it might be okay to listen to an unpopular opinion, try and understand from their point of view why your friends and family might be thinking that staying in the relationship might or might not be what’s best for you for two reasons:
- An outsider point of view is always good to consider issues that you can’t see when you are on the inside
- Knowing how well your mate treats your friends and family is kind of an extension on how he truly sees you.
4. There are qualities that you admire about him in the long run
Being attracted to one’s body, mind, and soul is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, which can put anyone in cloud nine.
Qualities that stand the test of time and see the both of you growing old together with such qualities is a very good sign that he is the one.
Don’t look at qualities that fade over time.
Looks will fade, but character will last a lifetime.
You’ll want to know their thoughts and feelings, all about their sexual preferences and kinks, adore their body, the way how they smile, the wrinkles near their eye, and all the perfect imperfections that make them so unique.
Every other feeling will fade in comparison to the one that comes with being in true love, and you would want to have it all the time.
5. All you want to do is make their life easier
People are natural born problem solvers, and we are always subconsciously trying to make our lives easier.
When you truly love someone, you don’t just want to stay with them during the high parts of their life, but also when they’re going through a low.
You’d want to help them live the happiest and the most uncomplicated lifestyle while helping them become the best version of themselves.
If your man truly loves you, you’ll regularly notice him doing things for you unconsciously.
Things like putting his jacket over you when you’re cold, willingness to listen a dull day at work even while he’s tired, try to surprise you often, and so on.
Your partner will not only be a support system but will actively inspire you to grow and help you achieve the feat that you once thought was impossible.
The absolute reality
Even though you might find a pool of people who are potentially compatible mates, it would take courage to commit to one of these people.
Genuine commitment comes from saying “I choose to spend the rest of my life with you, through thick and thin”, and not revisit the choice.
In reality, a commitment based on the belief that you found “the one” might turn out to be something built on a shaky foundation.
However, if you choose to commit to one single person and try the absolute best to become each other’s life support, then you are on your way of forging a mutually respectful and loving relationship.
Everything being said and done, it wouldn’t be right to rule out the possibility of people just falling out of love.
But hey, you don’t need to ruin what you have now by thinking about what would happen in the future.
After considering all the points mentioned above, if you are actually convinced that he’s the one, there is a high chance that your gut feeling is leading you to the correct path once again.